Okay y’all, here is the grit.
I am Annie. Some labels attached to my identity include: 30 -something female, aquarius, ENFP, intuitive, healer, creative wild woman, womb keeper, dog and cat mama, giant sunflower grower extraordinaire, etc. BUT these are just labels. I know that I am more than my hobbies, my job, my friends and family, my possessions. I am more than my body. I am more than my mind. 
It took me a long time to come to this conclusion. My eyes are opening.
I am on a magical path forward + not looking back.
I have spent the majority of my life in the dark. I was reactive, uncommunicative, and afraid of judgement. I was always trying to live up to other people’s standards ( let’s be real, I’m still trying to work through blocks related to this – I’m just handling the ebbs and flow better). I would do what was expected of me. I was a good kid. On occasion I’d beat to my own drum, but overall I followed the crowd.
I felt like a sheep, herded here + there. Wear this. Eat that. Think this. Listen to that.
I was disillusioned and apathetic. I would work all day, eat unhealthy food, go out drinking most nights – and the cycle would repeat. I was unaware. I coasted through the jello mold of life, floating in apathy and self-doubt.
Slowly things started to shift.
Things changed as death appeared. A close guy friend from high school died unexpectedly. This event caused stirrings within, yet I stayed in the comforts and sludge of the matrix.
A year later something clicked- I started to embrace my idiosyncrasies and step out of my comfort zone. I made a life change and decided to go back to school to become an occupational therapy assistant.
(SIDE NOTE: For those of you unfamiliar with occupational therapy – it’s a beautiful profession helping individuals throughout the lifespan become their most independent selves. I have had the pleasure of working in a variety of settings with clients spanning the ages of 3 to 103. It is bad – ass and inspiring to help people grow, yo. This site is not about OT, I just want to inform you of how amazing it is. )
In the midst of my joy in going back to school, I experienced the death of my grandmother. I was very fortunate to have deep soul connections with all my grandparents. They shaped me as an individual. My grandmother’s death was a devastating event.
It’s truly insane how horrible events can become catalysts in a path towards self- discovery. To quote Rumi, “the wound is the place where the light enters you.” Death creates many wounds. Nine months after my grandmother’s death, Meghan, my closest and oldest friend passed away – that event shook me to the core. Two years later my grandfather passed on, this July my Grandmother on my mother’s side left her earth body, and the day after Christmas my close friend William departed this planet.
Death changes you- it is a fascinating teacher. Through death you feel the flow and impermanence of life. I realized that I could take my last breath tomorrow. If that occurred, would I be satisfied with what I’ve accomplished? Did I learn and experience enough in this life? Did I make the most of my time on this planet?
In asking myself these questions, I realized I was not truly living. I was not consciously growing, evolving, and being my best self.
I have decided to live each day filled with gratitude and awe. You never know what tomorrow brings.
If you really want to know about “me” – my purpose on this planet is to be a pollinator of positivity. My intent is to lead a life filled with growth, compassion, gratitude, and inspiration towards myself and others. I want to create a ripple effect of love and kindness.
